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This past month, after three years away, I returned to my old church choir. I wasn’t back for good. Rather, I sang with them as a show of support for the choir director, who was being replaced after over 30 years of service to the parish (a decision from higher up that none of us were happy with). We sang the “Hallelujah Chorus” as our last hurrah, the high Gs and As exploding out of us from our stomachs, our lungs, our chests, our hearts.
The other month, I sang my grandfather’s funeral as well. It was a way to hold myself together, but it was also a gift I wanted to give both to him and to my family. I threw my entire body into that music and — though I was a boogery, sobbing mess at points — it felt good.
Writing does the same thing for me.
When I was 5, and my grandmother died, I turned to poetry. What I wrote may have been god-awful, but it was the only way I knew to express what I was feeling. It was the precursor to an entire life dedicated to writing. Â Then and now, I use it to clear my head. I use it express emotion. I use it to connect with others.
I mean obviously I’m not in it for the money. 😉
Why do you write?
And do you have any other means of expressing yourself… something you turn to when writing just doesn’t do the trick? Something you can throw your whole body into?
I write in my journal when I need to get out the kind of emotion you are talking about here — and I also punch the heavy bag in our garage and kill myself on a long bike ride. Talking to friends helps too.
But I write because I love it, because I want to change the world and make people–myself included–be more socially conscious. I also write to feed my family of six. Luckily I can do all those things at the same time (some days with more success than others!)
xo,
Jennifer