How to Maintain the Ability to Interact with Other Human Beings

May 30, 2012 by 3 Comments

Have you ever seen that comic by the Oatmeal on why working at home is both awesome and horrible? I love it… especially because it perfectly captures the “degradation of social skills” (his words) that occurs when you’ve been working alone for an extended period of time.

How have I been affected?

  • I no longer feel shame when I wear yoga pants to the Stop & Shop, or to Barnes & Noble.
  • I tend to mutter to myself in public.
  • I have extended conversations with my cats.
  • I’m mystified when people actually call me on the phone, instead of texting or emailing.
  • I don’t have a single, business-appropriate outfit, and always go into a panic whenever the odd networking event or launch party pops up.
  • I tackle my husband as soon as he arrives home and try to engage him in conversation about EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD EVER, ALL AT ONCE.
  • I have panic attacks when at large social gatherings, work myself up to the brink of passing out when public speaking, and am forced to medicate myself with a potent mix of Xanax and wine.
  • Actually, that previous bullet point pretty much describes me even before I went full-time freelance!

The point is, many freelancers — especially the introverts among us — tend to hide behind our books and laptops and notebooks and cameras whenever possible.

Which is goddamn ridiculous when you’re trying to be a successful entrepreneur, as both community-building — and the ability to sell yourself — are crucial.

Which is why I joined Toastmasters last month. [Read more…]

Filed Under: networking Tagged With: , ,

Spill It: Are You a Terrible Self-Starter?

May 4, 2012 by 3 Comments

Last week, I headed over to my local library to sit in on a meeting of the Toastmasters Club. When we went around the room to introduce ourselves, I admitted that I was on a panel at a major conference that coming weekend, that public speaking terrified me, and that I was hoping to pick up some pointers.

So when it came time for impromptu, two-minute presentations, the master of ceremonies (the Toast Master?) asked me to take the first shot and talk about the presentation I was preparing for.

Fantastic.

I got up there and babbled incoherently for just under two minutes about ASJA, sex writing, the book I was working on, and promotional plans. It wasn’t terrible. But it was definitely unfocused, and I was obviously nervous.

(A few presentations later, a guy with fantastic biceps opened up his presentation by saying that my presentation was his favorite. But I’m pretty sure it’s because no one expects to come to the public library, attend a Toastmasters Club meeting, and hear somebody talk about sex.)

ANYway. At the end of the meeting, I received some more constructive feedback from the person tasked with analyzing each mini-speech, and one thing he said stuck out to me. “People tend to use filler words (stuff like uh and um) in the same way they clear their throat,” he said. “You feel unprepared, so you fill in those words while you gather your thoughts.”

It struck me then that my tendency toward extreme procrastination is much the same thing. [Read more…]

Filed Under: productivity, spill it, writing Tagged With: , ,